So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
