this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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