We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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