He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize
