i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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