Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
