i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
