i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
