I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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