please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
