I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
