Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
