Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
