Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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