i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
