Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
