we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
