I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
