And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
