Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
