Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
