Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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