How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
