I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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