You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
