Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
