Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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