You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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