Do you still have your period?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
