Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
