You just made me feel so damn special
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
