I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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