He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
