I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Your penis caused this!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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