just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
