So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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