Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
