i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
