At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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