Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
