please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Life is so much better after having sex.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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