its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
