How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
