Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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