the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
