ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
