Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
