Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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