I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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