You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
