Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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